Is the subtext of this article that Jose Mourinho climbed into the Chelsea dressing room, using his old set of keys, and sneezed on the towels and kit of every single player on Chelsea's squad, wiped off the finger prints of his entry, hacked into the security mainframe and then cleaned off the entry records to hide his transgression - it's not for me to say.
Oh, look, Bastian Schweinsteiger scored another time for Chicago Fire. Isn't it nice that he's found his level after two years, almost, of struggle at Manchester. Given the quality of his passing isn't in question, it'll be interesting to see if he copes with the rigours of MLS. If he does, then you'd have to think that United might have made a mistake in letting him go.
Secondly, Schweinsteiger's brother said that he wasn't sad to be leaving Manchester United because he wasn't playing games, and was happy to go somewhere he can get hot, sweaty, first-team action.
"Play well for 20 minutes against Tottenham, you think you're superstar." There's more than a little about that when you see that Ander Herrera could apparently be rewarded with a £120,000-a-week contract following one impressive performance against Chelsea. Look, Herrera's perfectly decent, but he's just not consistent enough to be relied upon yet. If that changes, great.
And lastly, Manchester United's best Spanish midfielder by some distance, Juan Mata, is not expected to be back in action until the end of May. Let's hope that he comes back better than ever.