United players celebrate Europa League win

Have you heard the good news? Manchester United are champions of Europe! Well, sort of. Not really. We won a thing, in any case. Winning things is fun. Don’t forget to remind the Liverpool/City/Arsenal/Spurs fans in your life that winning two cups and qualifying for the Champions League constitutes a better season than finishing second through fifth in the league table but winning sweet f**k all.

That said, now that United have won the damn thing, let’s never play in this godforsaken competition again.

The players certainly enjoyed the win. Even José Mourinho - who, like many of us, considered the Europa League to be beneath him - celebrated with rarely seen abandon. Look at him hugging his son, and try not not to smile.

Paul Pogba, who scored the opener and was one of the best players on the pitch, dedicated the win to the people of Manchester.

But not before dancing on the pitch.

The United dressing room was bouncing after the match, with Antonio Valencia’s Twitter account providing some video of the scenes.

Ander Herrera was named man of the match, and paid lovely tribute to the victims of the Manchester attack and also dedicated the win to the memories of those who lost their lives.

“We were really sad because you think of life and football – you have no choice. It was difficult to train but the manager told us the only thing we could do is win this for them and that is what we have done. It is just a football game and a trophy but if we can help and support with this just 1% it is enough for us.”

Weirdly, Mourinho and the players insist on referring to the “three trophies” they won this season. Come on, lads - the Community Shield doesn’t count. Behave.

Here’s Ander dancing to his own chant in front of the United support.

Speaking of chants, here’s Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard singing Anthony Martial’s, while sitting next to Anthony Martial.

U-N-I-T-E-D!