WTF Moment of the Season
Brent Maximin: Marcos Rojo eating a banana on the pitch during an elimination match in Europe. Not only was it a baffling moment, but it was made all the more ridiculous by Mourinho’s very serious response to it post-match. It was also the only instance in recorded history of something good coming of someone having brought a banana to a sporting event.
Andi Thomas: To give Mourinho some credit, this season has been quite a bit lighter on WTFery than last: no Powell-for-Mata, no Jones-on-corners. To give Mourinho even more credit, there has never been a gesture so suited to Manchester United™ than a manager attempting to mark a significant win by tapping the badge on his chest, but accidentally tapping the name of a multinational insurance brokers.
Jack Sargeant: Probably Jesse Lingard channeling Michael Jackson. Great scenes.
Fellaini Moment of the Season
BM: Suddenly turning into the Belgian Iniesta in the biggest match of his career. We would be doubting our own eyes were it not for the miracle of video technology. Fellaini - Marouane Fellaini - dribbled his way out of trouble. Twice. In one match. He even juggled the ball in the opposition box. This was so out of character - Fellaini is a man with the first touch of a cupboard - that we almost want him investigated for blood doping or sorcery or something.
AT: Has to be the penalty at Everton, which in any just world would have been his last action in a United shirt. Get on there and keep things tight, Marouane. Just a few minutes to go. Oh, for f--
JS: Three match bans are always worthwhile when they’re handed out for headbutting Sergio Agüero.*
* We would just like to emphasise that TBB does not endorse violence of any form.
Improvised Full-back of the Season
BM: Juan Mata and Henrikh Mkhitaryan share the honors for their bizarre assignment away at Arsenal. By late in the second half, Mourinho had gone Full Mourinho, and United’s two most creative players were both forced into doing their best Matteo Darmian impressions.
AT: Eric Bailly. Okay, so he only did the job in a couple of games towards the end of the season, and only because Valencia needed a rest and he was suspended for the Europa League final, but he was fun. If Mourinho does tell his full-backs to sit back, then Bailly simply does not listen. He spent more time clean through on goal from right-back than Wayne Rooney did from the front and he was able to get back in time to give away penalties. What a hero.
Antonio Valencia. Oh, we’re actually calling him a full-back now? Never mind then.