Manchester United bid £72m for Monaco striker Kylian Mbappe. Monaco have told them to GET EFFED, but this is only the first round of negotiations, and there is more to come. United can afford well above £72, so things may start to move a little quicker at the end of the season.
Roy Keane thinks that Arsenal would still lose to a weakened Manchester United team at the weekend. I'm not so sure, but he knows a great deal more than me about how pathetic Arsenal are, so we should bow to his knowledge. United, of course, may rest some players at the weekend depending on how the tie against Celta goes tonight.
According to this story, Celta Vigo are looking back to the Athletic Bilbao tactics of 2012 to see how they can beat the 2017 vintage of Manchester United, with an almost entirely different line up. This seems pretty stupid to me, but then again, I'm here, so who's the real loser?
There's a story here that Manchester United face competition for Cesc Fabregas from Liverpool. Fabregas was one of the absolutely worst players in Jose Mourinho's final season at Chelsea, but you would imagine that he would make an able replacement for Michael Carrick for a few years. Also, he's a bit of a vicious, snide cee, which while depressing to watch is often handy.
And in the last story of today's delight: Manchester United are preparing a £64m bid for Andrea Belotti, but he would prefer a move to London. It's hard to see why, as London is one of the worst places in one of the worst countries in the entire world. Then again, if you have money, you can probably get a lot more out of the place. You would imagine Belotti has money.