An English football club, a French football club, and the appointed representatives of a Brazilian footballer walk into a bar. The barman says: "Why the transfer negotiations?" And Fabinho's agent replies: "To get to the other side."
Yes, it's day 22 of the transfer window, and already tBB can feel its grip on reality slipping away. Remember last week, when it turned out that Manchester United had absolutely no interest in Monaco's Fabinho? Well, according to Italy's Corriere dello Sport, the transfer should be done next week.
We can't really speak for CdS's track record on these things, but they certainly sound confident. They've even got some numbers: 35 million Euros, with 5 million in bonuses depending on individual and team achievements. That certainly sounds like the kind of fee United have been agreeing, with both Victor Lindelöf and Anthony Martial on similarly structured deals.
Quite why news of a Brazilian's move from France to England has popped up in an Italian paper, we don't know. Still, we're broadly in favour. United need a central midfield, and his name contains the word FAB. Sign him up.