Honestly, given the state of the news these days, and the world, I'll level with you: I cannot be bothered to read the following story: Alvaro Morata has been doing something on social media. I don't know what, because I don't care, but apparently it has something to do with Manchester United. This is where we are these days, scraping what is left of a particularly cacky barrel. £5 to the first person to read through the guff and post precis in the comments section.
On ESPNFC, Andy Mitten has explained why it won't be easy to sign him.
In the Daily Mail is a story that United are preparing to bid £70m for Torino striker Andrea Belotti. I feel like we did this story the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, and on and on and on. I hope we sign someone soon, but most of all I hope we sign Michael Keane first because I put a tenner or £20 on him being the first signing at 1/10. Am I solely motivated my money? No, obviously not, because I write about football for a living.
There's a story here in the Telegraph, that Wayne Rooney is considering another season at United. That must mean - if true - that he has literally no other options, because he won't play at all, because he is one of the worst players in professional football at the moment. Can't control, can't shoot, can't get himself fit. Unless he radically changes his approach to his life, he should probably consider just retiring and getting to a health spa for a year or six.
Chris Smalling has vowed to prove Jose Mourinho wrong about his criticism of him. To that, I'd say: fantastic, that's exactly the right attitude to take at this point in your career. I'd also say: Good luck finding another club to do it, because you're far too bad at football to do it at United anymore.