Manchester United agree deal with Alvaro Morata — reports

Onward, then, into a brighter future. One in which the sun shines a little warmer, the birds sing a little louder, and Alvaro Morata scampers around up front for Manchester United, scoring goal after beautiful goal.

That's the plan, anyway, and according to the Telegraph, it's getting a little closer. They reckon that Morata has "agreed in principle" the terms of a move, and so all that remains is for United to agree a fee with Real Madrid. That fee could be as much as €60m, which sounds like a lot but might just be the going rate these days.

The Telegraph reckons it's the promise of football that has swung the deal. They quote his agent, Juanma Lopez, as saying "He doesn't want to go through another season like that. It was a great season, but he wants to play more." It's a World Cup year, after all. There's squad places to be won.

Really, though, we know the reason. Morata's heard that Jeremy Corbyn is the absolute boy, and is coming to see for himself. And it's hard to blame him.