Manchester United to complete Ivan Perisic deal next week

Manchester United have Romelu Lukaku in the bag, but now they are moving further down the pitch to add some more of Jose Mourinho's favourite thing: physicality. That's why there's a story in the Mirror that United will bid £60m for the defensive midfielder. It will take silly money to persuade Tottenham to sell - they're rich and in the Champions League - but luckily for them, United have more money than sense. Admittedly, they often have very, very little sense.

Another midfielder they may be interested in is Monaco's Tiemoue Bakayoko. There have been a smattering of recent rumours that United will again go in to gazump Chelsea, who have been expected to sign him for what seems like the past seven years. However, Chelsea now say they're in the driving seat (if they are the ones briefing) and need to safe face if they aren't to make Antonio Conte yell EFF and CEE repeatedly to a Russian oligarch who's mates with Vladimir Putin.

The Telegraph believe that United's final sum for Lukaku could reach £90m. If it does get to that point, then it probably means that United have won every trophy, including the NBA playoffs, and Lukaku is now the world player of the year with six Oscars.

James Rodriguez won't be moving to United, for a while yet at least. To free up some cash, Real Madrid have shifted Rodriguez to Real Madrid. Why Madrid want him, it's hard to say, but there's a lack of brilliance around these days, and Rodriguez has the capacity to conjure it up intermittently.

And lastly, United have agreed personal terms with Inter Milan's Ivan Perisic, but they have yet to get the Italian side to budge from their £50m asking price. Those close to the deal, says the Independent, expect it to be resolved next week.