Good morning. Last night, Manchester United did something they haven’t done for, ooh, a couple of months. They played a game of football. And while a combination of time zones, prior commitments and broadcasting restrictions meant that none of the tBB team were able to watch the game, we don’t see how that makes any difference.
It’s not like we know what we’re talking about at the best of times.
So, here’s what happened. Or at least, here’s what we think happened, based on a quick glance at the scoreline, a couple of match reports, and last night’s live thread.
Romelu Lukaku is a complete waste of money
Preseason games are easier than proper games, right? Right. Everybody knows that. So while a failure to score in a real game isn’t always a massive concern, a failure to score in preseason is a sure and certain sign of fundamental inadequacy. When a team spends the best part of £100m on a player and he’s outscored by Marouane Fellaini, something’s gone terribly wrong.
Marcus Rashford is going to break Wayne Rooney’s scoring record
Nobody’s trying as hard in preseason games, right? Right. Everybody knows that. So we can reasonably expect that two goals in a preseason friendly will be multiplied up to three or four when the real business comes round and Rashford decides to start applying himself. Should have the record knocked off before 2020 rolls around.
Three at the back might be a thing
Look, United have loads of central defenders. Seven, we think? Maybe eight? Nine, if Michael Carrick gets any slower. And since nobody wants to buy the rubbish ones, they’ve all got to fit in somewhere.
Jose Mourinho has disrespected this competition, whatever competition it is
As a long-term fan of this unidentified tournament, it was appalling to see Mourinho despoiling the grandiosity of the occasion. Would Matt Busby have treated this ... thing with such casual disdain? Would Alex Ferguson have taken such risks for the [Insert Sponsor’s Name Here] Trophy? By using two completely different teams in each half, United’s manager disrespected whatever the hell it was his players were notionally competing for, and once against dragged this club’s reputation through the gutter.