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Manchester United linked to PSG’s Serge Aurier

Zlatan Ibrahimovic won’t be best pleased.

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Netherlands v Ivory Coast - International Friendly
Serge Aurier with a football near him
Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images

Phil Jones isn’t just useless during games, he’s also useless after them. He has been banned for two European games having effed and jeffed at officials during some dope-testing gubbins during the Europa League final. Let’s all hope that this ban doesn’t affect United in the end, and pray that he sits out two Europa League games for Stoke City, or wherever. Ta-ra Phil, five years of excuses and you’re still crap.

Rentagob, real estate face-for-hire Gary Neville has opened his gob to sound off about Chelsea’s ‘strange’ decision to sell Nemanja Matic to Manchester United. Well, it’s not strange, is it? They got almost £40m for a 29-year-old, slow midfielder. He’s perfectly useful in a Jose Mourinho side, but given Antonio Conte’s desire to run teams off the park, then it makes plenty of sense to get rid of him in favour of someone like Tiemoue Bakayoko. I don’t know why this is so hard. Back to the real estate, Gary.

Here’s a picture of Matic training with the United side. He’s back with Juan Mata, which is lovely. I don’t know why we treat Mata like a cuddly toy, but that’s the world we live in.

In the Independent, there’s a story that United are closing in on Serge Aurier of Paris Saint-Germain, who I called that instead of PSG in order to chisel down on the word count for this blog. Aurier has caused plenty of trouble in the past in Paris, but he has talent. If he’s able to knuckle down and keep his nose clean, fair enough.

Stan Kroenke sounds nice.

And lastly, Manchester United, who I called Manchester United instead of United to use up some more words, are going to extend the contracts of Mata (Juan Mata) and Ander Herrera. Right, enjoy your day.