Looks like the Premier League’s back, then. So far we’ve seen Arsenal embarrassing themselves but escaping with a win, Liverpool clowning around and emerging with a draw, and Chelsea making complete fools of themselves at home, eventually losing to Burnley. Exciting stuff, no doubt ...

... and, as such, precisely what we don’t want from today’s game against West Ham. No, we want the mundane. We want the efficient. We want the remorselessly competent, for this is exactly the kind of game that last season’s Manchester United would have dominated, and drawn.

Will we get it? Well ... maybe. But there’s a worrying about of #narrative floating around this game, what with the return of Javier Hernandez (formerly of United) and Joe Hart (once of City) to English football. In accordance with the immutable rules of the universe, tBB is expecting the former to score one off his shin and the latter to make about 284 saves with his face.

Let’s just hope Romelu Lukaku’s home debut can outweigh all that inevitability, shall we? Off we go again.

Premier League schedule

Kick of is at 16.00 BST in the UK, 11.00 EDT on the east coast of the USA, and 08.00 PDT over on the west.

Premier League TV channel

In the UK, you’ll need to point your face at Sky Sports Main Event. Over in the USA, it’ll be on NBCSN. Everybody else, have a look at livesoccertv.

Premier League streaming

Sky Go in the UK, NBC Sports Live in the USA.

Starting lineup

This will also be our live thread for the game, so stick around and discuss the game with us below.