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Phil Jones denies abusing UEFA anti-doping officials

Manchester United’s potentially best-ever player Phil Jones sounds off.

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Manchester United v Leicester City - Premier League
An oak-based cocktail of Duncan Edwards and Franz Beckenbauer.
Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images

Phil Jones has complained that his ban for swearing at UEFA officials is, ‘out of the ordinary.’ He also complained that his swearing at officials wasn’t exactly the case - he swore in frustration, rather than at the people involved. If true, it wouldn’t be surprising - it is, after all, only the tedious, boring jobsworths of this world who get annoyed by swearing in their presence, and they always claim it is you swearing at them. C***s.

Forever in our shadow, Manchester City and Arsenal. Not content with copying Manchester United’s corporate selling-out, it’s woeful embrace of money, and its hoity-toity nonsense, both City and Arsenal conspired to recreate the David de Gea transfer deadline day eff-up. You can read about the details here.

As we scramble around for some kind of Manchester United news, we are reduced to noting that 27-year-old Leicester City midfielder Danny Drinkwater, who we called 27-year-old Leicester City midfielder Danny Drinker water in order to meet the word target, but should then have probably called him England international, 27-year-old Leicester City midfielder and Premier League winner Danny Drinkwater, has joined Chelsea. He used to play for Manchester United. So perhaps we should have called him former Manchester United, England international, Premier League winner and Leicester City midfielder Danny Drinkwater, who has now joined Chelsea.

Manchester United get some praise for getting their business done early. It’s much better than scrabbling around for Daley Blind on the last day of the window, that’s for sure.

The Independent wonder if United can compete without their desired fourth signing. Given City failed to get hold of Alexis Sanchez, it certainly seems possible that they can get by without an extra winger or defender. United should win every game they play until at least the Liverpool match, and if they do then the league is theirs. IMHO.

Lol.