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Nobody knows anything

Can Manchester United win the league?

HBO Presents 'Alive Day Memories: Home From Iraq'
“He likes to mop with the bread”

Manchester United earned half a billion quid, which apparently is news. It should really be an example of just what a poor job David Gill had done before the Glazers arrived, because United were still a huge brand then, and they underperformed clubs like Lyon in terms of shirt sponsorship before the grotesques arrived with their leveraged buyouts.

I also write about shares in my spare time, and you can read my analysis of Manchester United from a business perspective here. They were bought by at least one hedge fund after I discussed them, and they have also been taken on by Nick Train, who invests in powerful brands, more of which can be read here.

Romelu Lukaku is helping Marcus Rashford and Anthony Martial improve their game after training, which is indicative of the horrendous atmosphere that Jose Mourinho has been fostering at Old Trafford (by the way, how many times did you hear about Wayne Rooney doing something like this? Oh, yeah.).

United fans have been warned to curtail their nawtiness abroad or face mega-time in one of the famous Russian gaols. I wouldn’t go to watch United in somewhere like that if you paid me, but then again I probably wouldn’t do many things even if you paid me, because I’m exceptionally lazy.

LADnan Januzaj has talked about his difficult times at Manchester United before being sold to you’re not my Real Sociedad. United have a buyback clause, and he holds no problems with Mourinho. What he does discuss is how stifling and dull he found life under Louis van Gaal, which is something we will all be able to sympathise with. It was terrible.

And lastly, The Independent asks the big question about United’s title credentials this season, and if they really stand a chance. Then again, nobody knows anything.