Alexis Sanchez lives in Manchester

Plucky Yeovil’s plucky manager Chad Synthetic has discussed what it means to him to be playing Manchester United in this weekend’s FA Cup. It’s fair to say that from a United point of view, it is absolutely meaningless and that while he may well pull off an upset, in the grand scheme of things the FA Cup means barely anything. If you need convincing of that, then remember both Arsene Wenger and Louis van Gaal have been its winners recently, and they are both wretched clowns.

Alexis Sanchez has moved in with his boss, sort of. Sanchez and his dogs have moved into the Lowry hotel in Manchester, which is far more pleasant than living in the arse-end of nowhere surrounded by grass and other footballers. It’s bizarre that most footballers choose to live outside the city of the club if they play in England, especially if they are in Manchester or London, but then nobody enjoys anything as I would, and therefore I disagree with all of it.

Phil Neville was widely hated by players during his time as United coach under the manager David Moyes, and it’s easy to see why. Making fun of domestic violence, sexist, and totally devoid of a sense of humour, he is now the FA’s women’s team manager. A risible, useless sexist. Well done!

Some United fans have written an open letter to Henrikh Mkhitaryan, which demonstrates once again why the open letter is one of the most cringeworthy formats in football, and the wider world. It is a deeply uncomfortable read (I’m assuming, I’ve not actually read it).

And lastly, The Independent newspaper, which is now just a website (this clause is just padding), has written about why defender Luke Shaw’s return to 6/10 form has led Jose Mourinho keep him at the club and not make a move for anyone else yet.