Jose Mourinho: Alexis Sanchez is an orange

Jose Mourinho has discussed Alexis Sanchez and oranges:

“I think Alexis reminds me a little bit of a metaphor – when you see the tree with amazing oranges at the top of the tree and cannot get there.

“You say, ‘Oh, I got the lower ones because I don’t like the ones at the top’.

“You like the ones at the top. They are so nice, so orange, so round, so full of juice but you cannot get there so you say, ‘I don’t want to go there’ or ‘I didn’t like it, I prefer the other ones’. It reminds me of that story.”

That’s pretty straightforward in my opinion. Sanchez is a top, top orange.

Henrikh Mkhitaryan says he is looking forward to playing, ‘offensive,’ football now he has joined Arsenal. Having seen Arsenal flail around and fail for more than a decade now, it’s fair to say that a lot of what they have served up under Arsene Wenger has been pretty offensive. Good luck to him, he seems pleasant enough, even if he’s unable to play at the top level.

MLS superstar and former Manchester United right winger David Beckham has taken the extraordinary steps of predicting that Alexis Sanchez, a fellow United number 7, will be successful at Old Trafford, and expressed his surprise at him joining up with Jose Mourinho. Beckham has started his own Miami team now, so perhaps he’s angling to sign Sanchez when he reaches 33 on some even more absurd wages.

Phil Neville has taken time off from joking about domestic abuse and making fun of women, to say that United should establish a women’s team. It is odd that the Glazers have not gone in for the fairly easy PR success of giving into the demands for a women’s side, but there we are.