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Manchester United are complete rubbish

And it won’t change soon

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Mare Favela Borders Main Highway From Rio International Airport
Manchester United last night.
Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images

This article in The Guardian correctly identifies that there is a problem with Alexis Sanchez’s performances so far this season. He was poor again against Valencia, which will surprise few people given his depressing struggles in a Manchester United shirt so far. However, the story notes that the people who predicted this downfall: the people who rebelled against the Glazer family and pointed out that this decline was inevitable at the hands of people who simply didn’t care - were right. United are not going to get better any time soon until the fans refuse to engage with the ‘product’ they are being sold. United are nothing more than content providers now, and the content is complete cack.

In The Telegraph there is a tactical analysis of United’s failings against Valencia. It’s not hard to spot that if you have players who simply don’t care and can’t be bothered to run, who have not been coached to improve defensively, and offer no imagination in attack, then you’re going to struggle. A new manager will maybe be able to offer some improvement, but it should not be forgotten just how bad some of the first XI picked last night are.

One of United’s very worst players is Antonio Valencia, and last night he appeared to be endorsing messages for Jose Mourinho to be sacked. That is, in itself, a sackable offence for any player, but given Valencia has been incapable of crossing the ball for five years, and has learned neither English nor how to use his left foot, it is pretty rum. A decent professional in many respects, but time to bin this clown.

One of the failed Kings of Rock ‘n’ Roll, Paul Scholes, has suddenly picked back up now he can get Mourinho sacked. Scholes has always loathed Mourinho for taking the job his mate Ryan Giggs wanted, as he stands in their way of the plan to take over the club in the next few years. His criticisms might be right, this time, but let’s not pretend that things will be any different until the Class of 92 get their crack at it. And they probably would be adequate owners, too, it just depends where they will get three or four billion quid of other people’s money to pull off a takeover. People would presumably enjoy the romantic nature of the whole thing, rather than the cynical marketing ploy the club has been turned into. Puke.

And lastly, the mood in the United dressing room is ‘depressingly bad’ and Mourinho could be gone by Christmas. While Mourinho shares only part of the blame for this incredible rubbish, he nonetheless has underperformed over the last year or so. Time to get rid, probably, but whoever comes next will probably be doomed to repeat the same failings. Until there is someone higher up at the club who actually wants the club to win things, rather than just scrape into the top four, this will never improve. And with that, good morning!