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Jones and Smalling accurately described as total rubbish by entire universe

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They are terrible.

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Newcastle United v Manchester United - Premier League
The worst players in the world ever
Photo by Matthew Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images

As I pointed out many, many times before, while also being insightful and handsome, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling remain absolutely abysmal, and their useless, cack-filled performances drag down the rest of the side with their relentless incompetence. That the two of them exist, let alone at Manchester United, is a risible disgrace and an insult to Premier League football. They should be sent to Scotland, where the football is only mildly above them. They are so bad that even King Useless Phil Neville thinks they’re were a, ‘disaster.’ Imagine Phil looking down on you, for anything. You’d have to retire. Please retire!

Even the World’s Worst Pundit has correctly identified that Paul Pogba needs to be played further forward for United. He was poor against Newcastle yesterday, and looked to be carrying an injury. This was the first game under Jose Mourinho where it all felt a little bit pointless. Unless they get into the quarter-finals of the Champions League, it’s easy to see this season starting to tail off again, just as it did last year.

Mourinho said that Pogba wasn’t injured, and that he was substituted for tactical reasons. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like there is much reason to believe him, because if it were true, then Pogba is now a worse player than Marouane Fellaini. That doesn’t seem scientifically possible.

Mourinho was also disappointed with the abominable display put in by United’s defenders. Perhaps he should try not playing the useless chumps beyond the end of the season. If Smalling and Jones are still at the club in the summer, we should just give up and go home.

The Independent think that Real Madrid are more likely to sign Thibaut Courtois than David de Gea. Courtois wants to return to Madrid at some point to live in the same city as his kids, and for that you have to say something pretty memorable: fair enough.