Manchester United to swap Luke Shaw for Danny Rose

Alex Ferguson dismantled Arsene Wenger, along with help from Jose Mourinho, to the point that Ferguson was willing to be friendly with him. The patronising continues, as Ferguson recently gave his support to Wenger, who has been under pressure as a result of underperforming for more than a decade, overseeing an alarming decline, and being ineffective in the transfer window. Still, at least Arsenal can call upon Jack Wilshere, possibly the very best midfielder in England right now. Wenger said in his press conference that he is, ‘very grateful.’ For the support, not Wilshere.

Good news. After appearing to have put on several stone in the last week or two, Manchester United are going to offer Luke Shaw in exchange for Danny Rose. The Spurs defender is recovering from injury but is much more reliable in terms of fitness and discipline than Shaw appears. It would also mean that there is a senior option for Mourinho, who might fancy a nibble on Ryan Sessegnon as well.

Bad news for shirkers beyond Shaw. Ed Woodward has let it be known that he’s happy to sell any players who are kicking up a fuss about Mourinho’s methods. People will assume this means Pogba, who has reasonable concerns over his position in the short term, but unreasonable attitude over his lack of willing to actually pull his finger out.

Ex-Manchester United midfielder and misunderstood genius Juan Sebastian Veron gave Southampton’s new signing, Guido Carrillo, advice on how to settle into the Premier League given its intensity. This has very little to do with Manchester United these days, but you’ll get what you’re given, and like it.

And lastly, Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs have been given permission to desecrate Manchester city centre in return for foreign investment and the uninspiring practice of facadism.