Jose Mourinho expects younger players to step up instead of huge transfer plans

We all know that Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho is a vile man who goes through life without a moment’s thought towards the happiness and well-being of anyone around him. That’s why, following the 2-1 win over Tottenham Hotspur he was fuming and angry with everyone, kicking down doors and throwing children to the ground in front of their parents. No, that’s not right: Mourinho gave the team three days off to prepare for the weekend and recover from their exertions.

There’s some incredible news here. Manchester United’s former striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic was famous for his flexibility, being able to kick colleagues in the back of the head while keeping one foot on the floor, and scoring chest-height volleys with his heels. Well, I have some pretty exciting information for you: United’s midfielder Paul Pogba can also lift his feet up high. Don’t believe me? Drink this in, and then apologise for your incredulous nature in the comments section.

Threat news. Chelsea striker Olivier Giroud has grown into his role at Stamford Bridge, and he was impressive against Southampton. At Arsenal he betrayed obvious mediocrity, but now at his new club his consistent ability to be largely competent is enough to make him stand out. Anyway, he has shocked the world of football, and beyond, by saying that he wants to beat Manchester United in the FA Cup final. It’s stirring stuff.

Mourinho has said that he expects younger players to take advantage of opportunities next season. While there will be departures, such as Matteo Darmian who could leave for Juventus, and arrivals - Fred has been mentioned as a replacement for the retiring Michael Carrick - there will be no grand overhaul in the summer. It’s obvious that a central midfielder and defender, and at least two full-backs are needed, but Scott McTominay and others might step up to fill the gaps.