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Manchester United set to miss out on Gareth Bale

He’s going to stay at Real Madrid.

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Real Madrid Celebrate After Victory In The Champions League Final Against Liverpool
Gareth Bale.
Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images

Alexis Sanchez is going to miss at least part of Manchester United’s US tour. The club have said it’s due to a personal administrative foul-up, which many take to mean that he received a suspended prison sentence for tax fraud in Spain worth a million euros. Sanchez has struggled with United so far, but a few matches with the side in pre-season would have helped him settle in a bit more. Having said that, he’s spent nine summers without a proper break, so an extended rest might also help him for this season.

United are set to miss out on Gareth Bale. Bale reportedly had positive talks with Real Madrid and he could be the man to replace Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo is now off at Juventus so there’s room for someone to be the new Billy Big Boll-er, no swearing here thank you very much. Neymar and Kylian Mbappe are options for Real Madrid, as is Eden Hazard at Chelsea.

Daley Blind looks like he will be off to Ajax. He’s not been good enough for United, but he’ll be much better off when he’s in a worse league and given much more time on the ball. In truth, he might also benefit from having players who actually run quickly around him, something that has been missing from United for half a decade.

Victor Lindelof has been spotted on holiday. In even more exciting news, he has been spotted on holiday reading a book. Even more exciting exciting news news, he has been reading something called Surrounded by Psychopaths.

And lastly, Paul Pogba has made one of the teams of the tournament after an increasingly impressive set of displays for France. He scored a decent goal yesterday and made it with a brilliant pass down the pitch for Kylian Mbappe to chase. More of this please.