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Zinedine Zidane wants to be Manchester United’s next boss

What the flip is he thinking here, then?

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Real Madrid Press Conference
Why? What’s wrong with you?
Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images

Manchester United could have a new boss as soon as next season. The rumours have started that Jose Mourinho is on his way out after disagreements with the calamitously incompetent Ed Woodward, who stiffed United on getting them the squad they need to challenge this season. No, unfortunately, the incredible Marcelo Bielsa is not going to leave Leeds United for the gig at Old Trafford. He is of course a genius, despite not having won anything for two decades and despite leaving every single club in disarray and confusion after his departure. No, the man in line for the job is Zinedine Zidane. He is enjoying a year off after leaving Real Madrid. He won one league title and three Champions Leagues, which makes it all the more confusing as to why on Earth he would want to stoop to a club like United.

Harry Maguire is on the verge of agreeing a new deal with Leicester City, which should secure him wages of around £75,000 a week. A new contract means he’s likely to stay beyond the next transfer window but it’s easy to see him leaving in the summer if Leicester City don’t make any particular stride forward under Claude Puel.

Diego Godin said that he turned down a move to Manchester United despite the club activating his release clause for, ‘personal reasons.’ I’ve not read the whole article but I’m going to assume the personal reasons are not wanting to join a club in a terrible decline led by the bozo Woodward.

United are doing something good! In a rare move of common sense, they are using Thibaut Courtois’ move to Real Madrid to tie down David de Gea to a contract extension. He is plainly the best ‘keeper in the world and however much received in transfer fees for him would barely be enough.