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PSG 1-3 Manchester United: Match ratings

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You get a 10! And you get a 10! Everybody gets 10!

Paris Saint-Germain v Manchester United - UEFA Champions League Round of 16: Second Leg Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images

David de Gea: 10

We love David de Gea. You love David de Gea. Everybody loves David de Gea. And yet there was a moment, deep into that endless stretch of time added on to time added on, when he came for a ball and punched it. Punched it badly. And in that second tBB has never hated anybody or anything more.

Did some good saves though, so it’s all good. Hopefully somebody took advantage of the chaos afterwards to get his signature on something binding.

Eric Bailly: 10

Got injured — or maybe “injured” — at precisely the right moment, proving once again that great defending is all about timing and positioning. For there was no better place for Bailly last night than on the bench, and no worse than right-back.

Chris Smalling: 10

Ever since he returned to the side, the confidence has been flowing through Smalling, and he is now feeling so good about himself that he can actively give the ball to Kylian Mbappe, just to have the pleasure of taking it off him again.

Victor Lindelöf: 10

Can’t actually remember a single thing he did. Must have been pretty good, right?

Luke Shaw: 10

Did lots of useful bustling around. He’s a bustler, is our Luke. Bustling here, bustling there, up and down the left flank. Bustling over to take throw-ins, bustling past on the overlap, bustling back after the move breaks down. Perhaps he’ll never be as elegant as Paolo Maldini, or as terrifying as Roberto Carlos. But there’s always a place, in every team, for a decent bustler.

Ashley Young: 10

Young’s late-career development into a tenacious, hard-working, occasionally spiteful full-back is going better than anybody ever imagined. And now he does busy captaincy stuff as well. Truly, an inspiration to anybody the far side of 30.

Scott McTominay: 10

Jose Mourinho was right, everybody! He was right! You don’t need Pogba if you’ve got McTominay!

Fred: 10

Not sure a performance has ever been more needed, or more welcome. There’s games for Fred between now and the end of the season, and if he manages to replicate the energy and effectiveness we saw, he might finally establish himself as the Most Useful Fred at Old Trafford.

Manchester United v Manchester City - Premier League Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images

Andreas Pereira: 10

He’s gorgeous, he’s got the greatest eyebrows in world football, and we’d give him 10 just on that basis even if he hadn’t played well. But he did. Hooray!

Romelu Lukaku: 10

So it turns out that the really good striker that Manchester United bought is, in fact, a really good striker. This is a surprise.

Marcus Rashford: 11

First penalty for Manchester United, that. First one. Imagine it. Imagine standing there: 90-plus minutes gone, the whole tie on the line, PSG’s defenders making a nuisance out of themselves in the background. Thousands of Frenchmen shouting at you. Cramp twinging away in your legs.

You can’t, can you? Because you wouldn’t have been able to stand there. Your knees would have gone soft, and your brain would have gone softer, and you’d have ended up lying on the floor in a puddle of nervous tears, refusing to give the ball back to the referee. “No!” you’d cry. “As long as I don’t take the penalty, I can’t miss it.”

And that’s fine. TBB would be right there with you, sobbing and gasping and begging to be anywhere else.

But not Marcus. Oh no. What a hero.

Diogo Dalot: 10

Did you see that stepover? Good. Because Juan Bernat sure as hell didn’t.

Tahith Chong: 10

These kids. I swear. Step onto the pitch at the Parc de Princes, and just start pointing. Put the ball here. Put the ball there. Such glorious cockiness.

Mason Greenwood: 10

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.