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Ed Woodward is at it again

Ah well, maybe the season after next will be better

Huddersfield Town v Manchester United - Premier League
Tell me... / Why / Why / I may be mad / I may be blind / I may be viciously unkind / But I can still read what you’re thinking
Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

It’s raining, and it’s raining hard. It’s a huge storm, and the streets are being pounded by a shower made more intense by a new cycle of El Nino, and three weeks of rain falls over the course of a day.

You cannot move for water. Insects perish under the force of the rain. Several small animals are caught up by unexpected currents and carried over 20 blocks to unrecognisable neighborhoods. In the days after, as showers revisit to top up the levels and prolong the impossibility of rescue, people have to use makeshift dinghies to get around from one place or another.

In a restaurant, one opened, half-poured bottle of Coke is tipped over as the water rises, spilling the rest of the liquid into the flood, and it bobs around, upturned, with only a tiny amount of air forming a pocket at the upturned base.

That tiny, fractionally existent bubble of air is still larger than Ed Woodward’s ability in the transfer window.

ESPN report that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer wants to buy Harry Maguire from Leicester City. With the club wanting £50 million last season for him, and £80 million this season, Woodward refuses to pay a penny more than £40 million, thus negating the usefulness of a time machine, at least. Manchester City are expected to buy the fairly talented 26-year-old England international, who is better than anyone that United have at the back.

The other story is in the Manchester Evening News, which claims that Woodward will only move onto any other targets once he has signed Aaron Wan-Bissaka or signed another right-back if that doesn’t come off. Wan-Bissaka is on international duty for weeks though, so why doesn’t he just sort out a midfielder and then try to buy him instead? The incompetence is either deliberate or stupidity, and neither are justifiable.