Five things we don’t want from Southampton v Manchester United

Measles

England’s vaccination rates are plummeting as people elect to believe that their own intuition and scare stories are more important than science and research, and there are now pockets of the country where herd immunity has been compromised. Exposure to those who have not been or cannot be immunised against measles could lead to disaster in the close confines of St Mary’s.

Recession

Britain’s economy is teetering on the edge of an enormous precipice, and could tumble into a recession if Brexit or the world economic downturn pulls the country down with it. That could lead to poverty, redundancies and disaster for families and also individuals, and even individuals in families of individuals. If too few people attend the game at the weekend, that could lead to a devastating reverse-multiplier effect across the south of Engand.

Flooding

With the climate across the world rapidly changing and causing unprecedented problems, the south coast is vulnerable to rising sea levels and also flash flooding. Urban development has hindered run-off from cement and concrete areas, and one severe, sudden burst of rain from the atmosphere could put lives at risk, and more importantly, could mean that the game is cancelled.

A general strike

The prorogation of Parliament has sparked off civil unrest in major cities, and that could eventually spread to Southampton too. The last thing we want to see is pitched battles of Remainers v Brexiters, beating the absolute bloody pulp out of one another’s faces. That would be terrible. A general strike may follow on as unions take a stand against the latest Conservative wheeze. Imagine that combined with martial law. Terrifying, and something to avoid this weekend.

Jesse Lingard

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