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I Think You(nited) Should Leave

Has this ever happened to you?

Illustration by Nathan Heintschel

Manchester United has completed its death spiral into an absurdist reality unforeseen at the beginning of last decade. With each frustrating result that leaves us searching for silver linings, United gets a little farther away from its legacy.

We all know what the issues are and we know everyone in the organization is at fault for the product that takes the pitch week in and week out. In this piece, we’re not going to bother preaching to you that the Glazers are terrible owners, that Ed Woodward shouldn’t have control over operations, and that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been set up to fail and be the next fall guy for the aforementioned executives that sign his checks.

We’re sure the rest of our colleagues will provide you an avenue to comment on the nuclear meltdown that is Manchester United Football Club. Instead of dwelling on what needs to be fixed, we’re going to submit to blissful ignorance for a while.

Netflix’s I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson has been an avenue for us to blow off steam since its release last spring. We were fans of one of Tim Robinson’s older projects, Detroiters on Comedy Central, and when I Think You Should Leave premiered on Netflix, we easily binged the entire first season.

Since that first consumption, we have regularly popped on an episode when we just wanted to escape. Thanks to United’s ineptitude as a football team, we will now blend I Think You Should Leave with the club we love to escape, if only for a moment.

United trying to open up an opposing defense:

When José Mourinho took the Tottenham job:

When United fans are reminded of the Chevrolet shirt sponsorship:

Ed Woodward when he completed a signing everyone wanted:

Woodward when he’s booed at Old Trafford:

Anticipating the upcoming Summer transfer window. Then you remember the last Summer window after Ed Woodward spent money in January:

Ed Woodward negotiating during the transfer windows:

When your friend asks if you’ve seen the newest Phil Jones face:

When Brandon Williams had to mark Virgil Van Dijk on a corner:

Jesse Lingard celebrating his goal against Tranmere Rovers:

When Pogba saw his midfield partners for the season:

Every United fan when Mata scored against Wolves:

Marcos Rojo after the 2019 summer window closed:

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer to the Manchester United board:

Everyone to Nemanja Matić and Andreas Pereira:

United players when the opposition goes on the counter attack:

Phil Jones going to ground at Tranmere:

Manchester United starting “the youth”:

When Ole hears that another player is injured:

Solskjaer against “smaller clubs”:

The Busby Babe fans browsing this piece: