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Ten Manchester United moments that would make better statues than racists and slave owners

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“Wayne Rooney > Robert E. Lee” is facts, facts, facts, and more facts

Soccer - UEFA Champions League - Final - Manchester United v Bayern Munich Photo by Matthew Ashton/EMPICS via Getty Images

Manchester United has a long a storied history. The endless great moments have given us some great still-shots. Here are just a few that would make much better statues than some of the cheap, ugly statues of racists that are deservedly being “vandalized” (AKA improved) and/or torn down across the world.

“BRUCE!” Sir Alex Ferguson and Brian Kidd 1993

The moment that Manchester United all but sealed their first league title since 1967. Pure joy from Sir Alex Ferguson and Brian Kidd on the touchline as the club began a brilliant run of success over the next 2 decades.

Wayne Rooney vs. Manchester City 2011

Manchester United’s English striker Wayn Photo credit should read ANDREW YATES/AFP via Getty Images
Manchester United’s English striker Wayn Photo credit should read ANDREW YATES/AFP via Getty Images

It might be a bit difficult to make a statue of the kick itself, but the celebration is iconic enough as well. What a goal, at what a time. What a player.

And also Wayne Rooney never pledged allegiance to a racist cause, which defended the institution of slavery with military force. Wayne Rooney > Robert E. Lee.

Eric Cantona

Soccer - FA Carling Premiership - Manchester United v Sunderland - Old Trafford Photo by Mike Poole/EMPICS via Getty Images

Swagger so irresistible that it is constantly revived as a basis for comparison. The coolest man to have ever lived.

Cantona is also a vocal anti-racist. He’d even go so far as to...

Kung Fu Cantona

The Guardian

Eric Cantona has kung fu kicked a racist person. How many of us can say the same?

You know who could never? Some useless racist whose statue is now at the bottom of a river. Bet even the fish hate it. Yuck.

Patrice Evra celebrating in front of Luis Suarez

Manchester United v Liverpool - Premier League Photo by Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

Remember that time that Luis Suarez racially abused Patrice Evra and Liverpool players and staff wore t-shirts condemning racism in support of Suarez? Yikes.

David Beckham vs. Wimbledon 1996

David Beckham Photo by Michael Cooper/Allsport/Getty Images

The birth of a star.

David Beckham launched one from the halfway line and scored. What a career he had after. What a legend. Much more worthy of recognition than Christopher Columbus, who was a genocidal fraud that history remembers too fondly.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer 2020 or 1999

Manchester United v Bayern Munich - UEFA Champions League final 1999 photo by Alain Gadoffre / Onze / Icon Sport via Getty Images

Who can both pull off the high socks w with shorts and sunglasses AND put the ball in the German’s net?

It’s not Nathan Bedford Forrest, who is a racist loser.

It’s Manchester United legend/manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

Jesse Lingard Milly Rocking at The Emirates

Arsenal v Manchester United - Premier League Photo by John Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

The exact moment when Arsenal Football Club ceased to exist.

Roy Keane standing over Alf-Inge Haaland

Controversial moment for sure, but Roy Keane never forgets.

In 2001, 3 years after Alf-Inge Haaland ended Roy Keane’s season by injuring his knee (and then stood over him calling him a liar) Roy Keane returned the favor with a really hard “tackle” on the Norwegian midfielder’s leg. Then stood over him like a victorious Muhammad Ali. Then wrote about it in his book. Then got banned for writing about it in his book.

It’s the kind of energy we should definitely be channeling towards statues of racist assholes.