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The Chippy: Marcus Rashford is the Prime Minister we deserve

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Plus: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has Big Dad Energy, and a footballer is abducted by aliens

Manchester United Training Session
Chat shit (about our Marcus), get banged
Photo by Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

Marcus Rashford, The People’s Prime Minister

On Monday, Boris Johnson rejected Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford’s plea for the government to extend its free school meals voucher system for low-income families in England over the summer holiday period. Because Boris Johnson is a vile cretin. On Tuesday, the “prime minister” was forced into a humiliating u-turn by the public pressure created in large part through Rashford’s campaign. Put to shame by a 22-year-old footballer, Johnson announced a new £120m voucher scheme — the “Covid summer food fund” — for pupils in England.

The fact that “don’t let kids go hungry” was a controversial position in the first place tells you quite a lot about the Tories. And the fact that a kid who kicks a ball for a living was more effective than the leaders of the opposition tells you quite a lot about the current state of the Labour party.

We’ve never been prouder of one of our own. What a man.

Solskjaer has Big Dad Energy

Can you believe what they wanted to charge me to get this deck re-sealed? Did it myself for a fraction of the cost.”

The truth is out there

According to a former teammate, Argentine footballer Guillermo Marino once turned up late to training because he claimed he had been abducted by aliens.

“He started to explain that he was suddenly lost and abducted by aliens. He explained that they take out your soul, analyse it and all the while on the journey they are looking after you.”

You mean to tell me that we can be taken off this raggedy planet? I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.

Lucien Favre gives a masterclass in saying nothing

Borussia Dortmund manager Lucien Favre was asked about the futures of two of his most in-demand players, Manchester United no. 7 Jadon Sancho and the on-loan Real Madrid full-back Achraf Hakimi. Favre, in what is surely a brilliant of football-manager-speak satire, said nothing:

“We’ll see after the season. Of course, players will leave. We hope the players will stay, but it is possible that players will leave.

“You have already mentioned two [Hakimi and Sancho] that we don’t definitely know about. Of course, they could stay with us, which would be very good for me. But we’ll see what we’ll do, whether it’s in defence, midfield or attack.”

That clears that up, then.

Some kit news

Manchester United’s home goalkeeper kit for 2020-21 has leaked. Looks decent?

In more important kit news, The Busby Babe’s own Nathan Heinstchel — our Senior Top Chef Correspondent and highest ranking Dan James Enthusiast — is selling some pretty nice kits at his day job. Not only are they better than some of the overpriced monstrosities that Adidas have saddled us with over the years, but the profits from sales go to some very deserving causes. Get your purses out.