Report: Manchester United lodged failed bid for Chelsea flop Timo Werner

We’re loath to ruin your Friday with another depressing transfer story, but this one might earn a chuckle or two. The Manchester Evening News reported this morning that Manchester United lodged an “11th-hour” bid for Chelsea flop Timo Werner, “hours before” he packed his bags for Germany and headed back to RB Leipzig for £25 million.

The 26-year-old arrived in England in the summer of 2020 to much fanfare, but returned just ten goals in 56 Premier League games. In spite of some clever positional play, Werner could often be witnessed wellying the ball against the woodwork from six yards, emphatically failing to match his impressive international goalscoring record.

Of course, Werner would have been a useful attacking option in the absence of any others, but he gratefully rejected the chance to join the club for whom he once “dreamed” of playing. (In actual fact, a careful reading of the interview in question would in fact reveal the sad detail that his favourite team “used to be Manchester United under Alex Ferguson, who always won”. Those were the days, eh Timo?)

In a more interesting aside, the MEN are reporting that Erik ten Hag would still like to sign another Chelsea attacker, the former Ajax man Hakim Ziyech. However, the knowledgeable and renowned sages that form United’s “hierarchy” are said to be resisting a move for the Moroccan international, who still has three years to run on his contract at Stamford Bridge. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, as Ziyech might say.