United "seal deal" for Bayern star - reports

For something that's definitely not happening, this Toni-Kroos-to-United business is not happening very loudly, and with suspicious regularity. The latest report comes from the Daily Mail — usual disclaimers on the grounds of taste apply — and says, essentially, that the whole thing's sorted:

A £20million deal for Kroos was agreed when David Moyes was still in charge at Old Trafford and his successor, former Bayern coach Louis van Gaal, has said the move can go ahead. Kroos, 24, flourished under Van Gaal at Bayern and is keen to work under his old coach again.

And then there's this:

Pep still wants him to stay but Bayern haven't improved their contract offer (says president Hopfner in Kicker): looks like Kroos will go

— Raphael Honigstein (@honigstein) May 22, 2014

While United might have to play Kroos out of position, given the odd preponderance of No. 10s in the squad, he would still be a preferable option in midfield to ... well, to everybody. And £20m, even if he is in the last year of his contract, is cheap relative to his talent, because he's really very good indeed. And only 24. And obviously he knows Van Gaal and Van Gaal knows him. And, and, and ...

No. Still not happening.