United chasing "£20m" Liverpool midfielder

Well now. This is interesting. According to the Mirror, Manchester Uni— hahaha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahahahahahaha!

Sorry. We'll get through this. Joe Allen. That's the rumour. Joe Allen. Of Liver— hahahahaha! Oh ho ho ho h oh ho ho ho ho h oh oh ohohoho! Hahahahaha hahahahahah ahahahah ahahahahahahha ahaha!

Sorry! Focus. Apparently Louis van Gaal was "impressed" by Allen's display when Wales played the Neth— hahahah ahahahaha! Aahahahahha ahahahah ahah! Hah ahhhh ahhahah haha!

Ahem. Anyway, the figure in question is £20m, and— hahah aha! Joe Allen! Liverpool! United! Twenty million quid! Teee hee hee hee hee hee hee heh aha ah ha ha ha! Haaaah!

Look, we'll get through this. United need a midfielder, and Liverpool don't always pick Allen, and— no, no, sorry, we're going again, Ha hahahahah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, mercy.