Join us, friends, as we take a trip to Spain with Guillem Balague, noted journalist, Sky Sports' Iberian expert of choice, and occasional ITK. That's "in the know", if you don't speak Twitter. Anyway, according to Balague, Manchester United's money men aren't content with snaffling Real Madrid's hardest-working player. Oh no. They want the big fish. They want Cristiano Ronaldo.
He is unhappy and he's said so - but then he corrected himself by saying ‘I didn't mean what he said'. It was a bit confusing. Anyway, you have to say he's not happy that Ozil left and he didn't like the fact that Xabi Alonso and Di Maria left.
Intriguing, Guillem. Tell us more.
He has this idea, I think, that at Real Madrid he is doing a job and he is working, but he enjoyed himself almost like a kid at Manchester United. He dreams of going back to Manchester United and Manchester United have got all the finances in place to get him.
It's not entirely clear whether he means 'United have load of money' or, alternatively, 'United have already sorted the details of a deal out and are just waiting for the right moment to pounce'. Still, rumours of Ronaldo being unhappy have been floating about for a while, and United do appear to have located their chequebook. Don't start killing the fatted calf just yet. But maybe make sure it's well fed.