"No question" of United target leaving PSG

Bad luck for any United fans hoping to see Edinson Cavani up front next season. Paris Saint-Germain president Nasser Al-Khelaifi is still a fan of the striker, and has been saying as much to Le Parisien (via ESPN):

Edinson Cavani is a player I like a lot. I can tell you that he feels very good with us, and there is no question of him leaving. Paris loves him, and he loves Paris.

No, no, don't cry. We here at tBB have got your back. Simply choose your favourite coping mechanism from those below and soon your disappointment will vanish:

- well, since he's only scored *checks Wikipedia* 45 goals in 85 games for PSG, he's clearly not good enough;

- cheekbones are for losers;

- he's *checks Wikipedia* 28 that's way too old, somebody younger and quicker please;

- well, we all know that South American strikers are allergic to Manchester. Er, except Argentinian ones;

- he has silly hair.

You're welcome.