Fenerbahce have confirmed the signing of Robin van Persie from Manchester United. We don't know how much they've paid, but they appear to have kidnapped him and taken him to a land of darkness and endless winter. Look:
And there we were thinking Turkey might be quite nice this time of year.
Van Persie leaves United having made 105 appearances and scored 58 goals. While his last couple of seasons were interrupted by injuries, and while he apparently took Alex Ferguson's departure harder than anybody else in the squad, his move from Arsenal was more than justified by his first season, in which he scored 30 goals as United won the title.
I took the No. 20 shirt because I'm here to win a 20th title with Manchester United.
Job done. Best of luck. Let's all watch those goals again.