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Manchester United's transfer deadline day 2015: full coverage

Cataloguing all the nonsense and panic buying of Manchester United's transfer deadline day dealings, one fantastical and miserable story at a time.

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Hello! No, we're not a day early. This summer it's actually transfer deadline days, since most of the rest of Europe closes their window at midnight . But the UK has a bank holiday on Monday, so won't be shutting up shop until 6 o'clock on Tuesday. One more in the eye for the bureaucrats in Brussels, hey! That'll show 'em.

Do Manchester United need to buy anybody? Yes. Definitely a forward of some kind, possibly a central defender if there's a good enough one available, and certainly a goalkeeper if David de Gea is heading for Spain. Poor Sergio Romero. If only he'd kept things together for one more game, he might have got a season out of it.

Will Manchester United buy anybody? No idea.

Will they sell anybody? Probably. Get your goodbyes sad to Javier Hernandez, Victor Valdes and David de Gea, just in case.

Anyway, this stream is where you'll find all the Busby Babe's coverage of every rumour, every story, every deal, every incoming and outgoing, and every promising arrangement that falls apart thanks to Ed Woodward's patented negotiation style. It's going to be a desperately long two days, people. Buckle up.