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Emmanuel Adebayor offered to Manchester United, it says here

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Apparently Tottenham's occasional striker would like to come and play at Old Trafford. That's nice.

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It's been a strange end to the window, in that the most ludicrous-sounding rumour so far appears to actually be coming true. So it's with some relief that we turn to the Daily Mail, who bring us the rather delightfully phrased news that:

Emmanuel Adebayor has been offered to Manchester United as a solution to their striking problems. The centre forward is stalling on a loan move to West Ham as he weighs up his options ahead of Tuesday's transfer deadline. And the striker wants to hear if United are interested in taking him before making up his mind on his next move.

Of course he does. Now, we're going to go out on a limb here and suggest that there isn't enough glue in all of England for Ed Woodward to reciprocate Adebayor's interest. Even if, as the Mail makes clear, "he is willing to uproot from the capital for a switch to United." But hey, that hasn't stopped the Daily Express running with:

Manchester United set to shock Tottenham with deadline striker raid

Aye. Right.