We'll begin today with the Telegraph, which has sensationally REVEALED that Manchester United's players had a row in the dressing room at half time on Sunday. That revelation becomes slightly less sensational when you realise that the players themselves revealed this shortly after the game, but hey, here's all the relevant quotes in the same place.
Over on ESPN FC, Andy Mitten has the details of exactly what has inspired "resurgent Wayne Rooney" to do all his resurging. Apparently he, Michael Carrick and Ashley Young persuaded Louis van Gaal to make some changes in training.
Adnan Januzaj scored twice for the U21s. Hooray! The Manchester Evening News have a "scouting report" on his evening.
Over in the Independent, Morgan Schneiderlin says — he's being quoted from MUTV; they haven't given him a column — that David de Gea is "fully committed" to Manchester United. Hooray!
Finally, here's today's transfer nonsense, also from the MEN. Apparently Manchester United, apparently, are going to take advantage of Chelsea's miserable season by making off, apparently, with Eden Hazard. Apparently. Well, it would be funny.