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SPANISH INTERNATIONAL GOALKEEPER LEAVES MANCHESTER UNITED!!!

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It's been coming for a while, but Manchester United have finally let go of their garlanded and much-admired Spanish goalkeeper.

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God, we're funny.

Anyway, Víctor Valdés' — what? — months of purgatory have come to an end. After a lengthy period of rehabilitation, one appearance, and a public row with Louis van Gaal that ended with the former Barcelona goalkeeper in effective exile, he's off to Standard Liège on loan.

It s interesting that nobody larger has come in for him: Standard, though historically one of Belgium's stronger teams, are currently seventh in the Jupiler League and didn't make it into the group stages of the Europa League. Perhaps this suggests that Van Gaal's decision to exclude him from the first team might not have been motivated purely by the desire to be a total dick. Or that Van Gaal's desire to be a total dick has led to nobody in Europe knowing if Valdés is any good any more. Either way, unless something weird happens when his loan ends, he leaves United as a point of trivia.

Here is thanking everybody. Well, almost everybody.