Nobody loves the transfer window like Daniel Levy loves the transfer window. Having spent the last couple of days floating deals for Wilfried Zaha, Mohamed Sissoko and Isco, only to watch them all come crashing back to earth, he's apparently now after Morgan Schneiderlin.
Bad news, Mr Levy. SportWitness — whose provenance in such matters we cannot estimate, but who we are hoping wouldn't just straight-up invent an actual quote, because that would be a remarkably stupid thing to do — have asked Schneiderlin's agent what's happening, and he's responded in fairly unambiguous fashion:
He's staying in Manchester.
Which more or less kills that one. tBB is still hopeful that Schneiderlin will find his form and his way into Jose Mourinho's first-team plans, but even if he's destined not to succeed at United, it would be a very silly move to sell him at this point, with Marouane Fellaini injured and Bastian Schweinsteiger confined to the naughty step.