Breaking Wayne Rooney transfer news!

We apologise for the specious headline, but we’ve got to get the clicks somehow. Especially when the transfer window’s about to slam shut and there’s nothing going on. Deadline day’s quite often like El Dorado for the humble bloggers; so much promised, so little delivered.

Anyway, the Wayne Rooney news is that there is no Wayne Rooney news; spurious claims in the tabloids over the last few days suggesting that he was about to trot off to China have proved entirely without foundation. In today’s presser, José Mourinho has confirmed that the United skipper will remain at Old Trafford for the foreseeable future, declaring:

“We don't have players in and we don't have players out. We have lost two players from the squad. You can say Memphis Depay and Morgan Schneiderlin they didn't play a lot but the reality is they played some matches and other people didn't and when they played others rested.”

So, there you have it. We may as well just shut the window now. It’s getting a little draughty in here.